Marvelous Misadventures
by ValentineRevenge
Summary: The untold stories of Bleach. OC's appear, as well as Grimmy's mouth & Nnoi's pervy mind. Latest chapter: Toilet Paper is introduced to Las Noches, with consequences that Aizen had never forseen.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a repost of a story that was dying over on my FicWad account.**

****This is meant to be a series of one-shots, huge arse parody all around. The only thing they have in common is Bleach. This means that I don't own anything at all, besides the plotlines and any OC's that may pop up, besides Haruhi, who is in fact a friend of mine. Yes, I did change our names, hers is from her deviantArt screen Name, Haruhi2034, while mine is from this game I play. This plot was hatched in our 5th period, when I randomly asked her what would she say if Byakuya dated Aizen. This resulted in her spazzing on me, and practically had a eart attack, before saying that Byakuya belongs with Renji and Aizen with Gin. Then I asked what if Gin didn't exist. (we love ya Gin, this is just talk.) Then she said Aizen should go fuck his bitch curl. Then I made the mistake of asking what would happen should the Bitch-curl not then said that if the bitch-curl didn't exist, then neither could the Hogyokou, cause the bitch-curl makes the world go round. Then, she randomly shouted pedo-spoon. So there ya have it, the whole history of where the plotlines for this story came from.****

**WARNING!: Involves Gay marriage, cursing, bitch-curls, fanatics, Grimmjow, Aizen, Nnoitra, Pedo-Spoons, Spoonsie-Spadas, Potty-Spadas, potty mouths, perved thoughts, drunken persons, Espadas, Arrancar, Hollows, Public humiliation, hilarity. I think that's about it. Lemme know if I missed anything out of it.**

Somewhere averagely magical and very interesting, it was a Saturday. How mundane. Enter the world of Bleach, stage right. Be sure to include the fuck-tarded, arse backwards Hueco Mundo. Now in this arse backwards, fuck-tarted Hueco Mundo, Aizen was married to Byakuya. Of course, he was the 'man' out of the pair. And being the all-controlling freak with the bitch curl, besides owning to Hogyokou, Aizen owned Byakuya. This made for a most interesting life.

So this lovely Saturday, Aizen opened his eyes. He woke up. He squacked, and proceeded to flop over on his other side. Curled up under the blankets on the other side of the bed, was Byakuya, curled up into the tiniest possible ball that he could curl his frame into. He was snoring faintly, in the most adorable way possible, causing all the fan-girls out there to sat up, and poked the Byakuya shaped lump several times. Finally, the lump stirred, opening one eye."Eh?" was the only thing the lump said, before it caught sight of Aizen poking it in the side. "Just you. Again. As Usual." The captain of the 6th division muttered, scooting a few inches away from his partner and attempting to resume snoozing. He was now effectively out of Aizen's reach.

Aizen scowled. When he poked his uke, he expected the ungrateful creature to snap up, awake, possibly bowing and kissing his feet. Not much to ask, considering he had the Hogyokou. However, the ungrateful creature had scooted away, and resumed snoozing. Well Aizen wasn't Sosuke Aizen, owner of the Hogyokou and bitch curl for nothing! He would not be swayed from anything he set his mind to. Whether it was becoming the spirit king, conquering Soul Society, or convincing his elder child that there was nothing wrong with Yuri, that it was Yaoi, but with girls. And he certainly wasn't going to be swayed from waking his uke up this morning. Even if he had to cero the damn creature's arse out of bed to do it, he would.

With this on his mind, Aizen scooted a few inches closer. The same process repeated a few times, with Byakuya scooting away every time,Aizen following. Soon it was to the point that the next time that Byakuya scooted, he would scoot his scrawny white bum right off the edge of the huge bed. This was just too much for him. He lost his temper, seeing as he was so rudely awakened, and was not being left in peace. "Dammit Aizen, get the fucking fuck away from me you bastard, and let me get some fucking sleep!" He screamed, his voice going high pitched. He then rolled over, and tugged the blanket up, above his head, until all you could see was a general Byakuya-shaped lump under the blanket."That's Aizen-sama to you, you filthy little slut!" Aizen snarled, a twisted grin crossing his features. He would make Byakuya pay for this. He most certainly would. And it would not be a pleasant thing. At least not for the captain currently hunkered down in the blankets.

Without warning, the Byakuya-shaped ball squirmed a bit, before a slender white hand came up from between the blankets. It flipped Aizen off, and waited a few seconds to make sure that he had most certainly gotten the point. Then, it vanished back into the blankets before the brunette could do anything about it. This only served to solidify Aizen's pissed off mood, and his desire to make Byakuya pay for it later.

Just then came a loud, obnoxious snore from the floor on Aizen's side of the bed. Byakuya bolted upright, squeaking, and latched onto Aizen. "Oh no ya don't." Aizen snapped, attempting to shove his lover off. However, he couldn't, as Byakuya had wrapped his arms and legs around the bitch-curl-owner and was firmly stuck there. No amount of shaking would get him off. Finally Aizen stood up, taking his tag along with him. "There's something growling and it's scaring me!" Byakuya squeaked out, tightening his grasp around Aizen, who only sighed. "After 17 years together, 15 of which we've lived in the same house, 13 of which we've been married, you're still not used to my bitch-curl snoring."

"It's your bitch-curl thats snoring that loud?" Byakuya asked, gray eyes going wide. At that point, he looked more like a little boy than anything else. "Yes Bya-kun, I thought you'd have been used to it after 15 years. But it seems every morning, it's the same old routine. It snores, you jump on me, cling on, refuse to let go, all the while screaming like a little girl."Aizen said, with a sad sigh. He really was tired of it. After all, over 15 years of being jumped on and clung to almost every single morning over the same incident. "What was it you woke me up for anyways?" Byakuya asked. Aizen gave him the pissed-off-psyhco-ruler look, and said, "I'll tell you as soon as you get off. Damned cling on."

Byakuya slowly and regretfully let go of Aizen, asking, "How come you're so sure that that noise wasn't made by some scary boogeyman under the bed?" Aizen sighed, and pointed to the other side of the bed. Byakuya crawled over it, hanging his head off the edge. There, on a dog bed, was the bitch curl, snoring away contentedly. "See?" Aizen asked, mildly amused. Byakuya nodded, and asked, "What was it you wanted me awake for?"

"Well It is Saturday."Aizen said. Byakuya rolled his eyes. Of course it was Saturday. Any nimrod with half a brain could understand that. Hell, he thought, even Lumina and Verona could understand that Saturday comes after Friday. That was saying something considering how stupid the Octavo's Fraccion could be at times. Well, screw times, all the time was more like it at any rate.

An hour later, in the same house, two girls were sitting in a room. There was a strange conversation going on between the two of them. "There is _no_ way in hell that Szayel and Ulquiorra belong together. Ulquiorra belongs with Potty-Spada and Szayel belongs with Spoonsie-Spada." The skinny one said. She looked like a female Aizen. With glasses. And a shorter, smaller bitch curl. "Well there is no way in hell that Szayel does _not_ belong to Ulquiorra. For all I care, the Spoon and Toilet can go fuck themselves. Or each other for that matter." The other girl replied. This one looked more like a female Byakuya.

"Well whenever Ulquiorra and Szayel have a uke's night out, Pedo-Spoon and Grimmy-Chan probably do." The mini-Aizen said with a shrug. "But Aizen belongs with Gin and Byakuya with Renji." This left her with a sigh from her companion, who said, "Well they are our 'parents', and if they weren't together, neither of us would be here." Then, the door opened.

"Haruhi, Vennession, were you two talking about how I and your mother don't belong together again?" Aizen said, as he poked his head into the door. "Yes." The girls said simultaneously. "Venn started it!" The mini-Aizen, who was undoubtedly Haruhi said without warning. "Yeah, but you continued it!" Venn retorted. "Can't I just have a Saturday in peace? First your mother, then my bitch-curl, then you two, who next? My arse?" Aizen asked, whinily, before adding, "What happened?"

(Here, they go back and forth, starting with Haruhi)

"I said some couples were meant to be and-"

"I said that she's just being a close minded-"

"But some couples are supposed to be together no matter what."

"But you have to be open to change and experimentation."

"Some couples shouldn't be split up."

"But it isn't fair if they don't want to be in that couple any more."

"So I said that its the same reason that Spoon-sie Spada is dating Gay-Spada and Emo-Spada is dating Potty-Spada."

"Then I said that Gay-Spada and Emo-Spada were supposed to be together."

"But I said that Mom was supposed to be with Renji and you were supposed to be with Gin."

This back and forth dialogue left Aizen flicking his head back and forth to watch the two of them. It was pretty much like a tennis match the way it was heading. One finishing the other's sentences. It was almost as bad as Aaroniero's two heads finishing each other's sentences. Almost. "Eh that's interesting. Anyways, we're heading out soon. If anyone asks, Byakuya _is_ your mother. Bye!" Aizen said, waving and leaving the room. This left Haruhi and Vennession to stare at each other in confusion.

Another hour later found them out walking around the downtown area. Shortly after, there was a scuffling noise coming from down an alley. From down this alley crashed a very much drunken Nnoitra and Grimmjow. "Ey, lookie here, whadda we got 'ere?" Nnoitra asked, slurring his words together, drunk as fuck, probably high off his spoon arse too. "Looks like Aizen and his bitch."Grimmjow said, with a high pitched hiccup. Then, Spoonsie-Spada caught sight of the girls.

"Ey girls, whose yo mama?"The one-eyed one asked, falling onto Grimmjow, who caught him with an insane giggle, before falling as well. Haruhi, Vennession, and Aizen had all spread to form a line, shoulder to shoulder. In sync, they all pointed to their left. To Byakuya, who at first pointed to his left as well. Then, he realized there was nobody there to point at. So he was forced to point to his right, as if trying to dispell the idea from the drunks minds. After a glare from Aizen, he sheepisly raised his hand. "Told ya Byakuya was the bitch in the pair. Even looks like a lady." Nnoitra said, before passing out. This prompted Grimmjow to start singing, "Dude looks like a lady by Aerosmith."  
><strong><br>**Insanity at it's finest my lovelies. Don't kill meh? XO ****


	2. Szayel the Whore & NoPants Wonderweiss

It was yet another mundane day in Las Noches. Aizen was sitting on his throne whining and bitching about something, while his bitch curl lay in a doggy bed next to said throne and snored. His 'wife' Byakuya was in his lap, attempting to read the latest edition of Pet Shop Of Horrors. And failing because Aizen was yelling too loudly. Gin was off somewhere making someone feel like they were being visually raped. Wonderweiss was running around without any pants. Tosen was chasing after him, and finally caught up to hm in the middle of the throne room. Aizen and Byakuya looked up with some surprise. "Wonderweiss, put on your pants." Tosen said, holding said garment out to the mentally challenged Arrancar.

"No wanna!" Wonderweiss said, pouting. "Why not?" Tosen asked, exasperated. His young charge was currently running around Las Noches naked from the waist down, and mentally scarring everyone there for life. "Wedgie!" Wonderweiss screeched, throwing his arms into the air and flapping them like a bird. "These are _not_ going to give you a wedgie, Wonderweiss, as wedgies are unjust. So put them _on_! Tosen said, trying not to lose his cool. _Stay cool. Just like Ice Cube. In the name of justice._ He thought. "No!" Wonderweiss said again.

"It is unjust to run around with your ass hanging out, you're not a hooker or a prostitute, nor are you an exotic dancer. And those are occupations lacking in justice. So in the name of justice, put these pants _ON!_" Tosen yelled running towards Wonderweiss, who departed from the throne room, arse still out. Aizen sighed, and started yelling about how Wonderweiss were going to become a whore if he kept showing his ass of at such a young age. Byakuya sighed and went back to his manga.

Somewhere else in Las Noches, Starrk was sleeping his lazy arse off. As usual. He was in a room completely filled with pillows. There wasn't even any beds, just rather huge pillows. Lilynette was bored, and couldn't get Starrk to wake up for some reason. Today, he was just being particularly lazy. She wandered off into the halls of Las Noches determined to find something to entertain herself with. After all, she was the sword release of the Primera Espada, and she shouldn't be bored.

Barragan was sitting in his room, ordering his Fraccion around, as he was just being a lousy old geezer. What a waste of space and time. The geriactric old being was currently sitting on a rather cushy old armchair, whining how his soup was too cold. "Ggio! Warm this lousy waste of space up for me! It's too cold, dagnabit!" he yelled out, waving his bowl of soup around, nearly spilling half of it all over his surroundings. Ggio was pissed at having to do everything for this lousy assed old geezer, so he simply ran the spoon under some boiling water and give the soup and it's spoon back to the old fart. Said old fart put the spoon full of soup in his mouth, only to spit it out, covering the floor in more soup. "Ggio! This soup it too hot! The blasted thing burnt my tongue! And clean up that dagnabbed soup all over the floor! Are you young whippersnappers blind? Can't you see there's soup spilled here?" He yelled. Ggio sighed. This was going to be one long arsed day...night...whatever time frame they use in Las Noches and Hueco Mundo.

Harribel was currently scouring Las Noches. She was looking for her bras. She sent out 5 of them with her dirty laundry to be washed. Not a single one of them had returned. Needless to say, she was pissed. Every time she did her laundry, her underwear and bras went missing. Sometimes, they were replaced with rather lewd lingerie. Sometimes, the lewd articles of clothing were simply added into her laundry. But this just pissed her off. She couldn't do her own laundry without her poor undies being harassed. And she had a very good idea who was behind this. The Quinta, the resident pervert of Las Noches, Nnoitra.

Ulquiorra, the Cuatro, was currently sitting in his room, listening to Hawthorne Heights and writing suicide letters. Our beloved emospada was actually sad that nobody in Las Noches seemed to like him, besides Gin and Nnoitra, who only seemed to want to extract sexual favors out of him. Aizen himself only seemed to see Ulquiorra as the perfect little obedient lap-dog, who was to be abandoned the moment that he lost his favor. So he sat in his room, listening to depressing songs, and writing suicide letters and bad poetry. His latest one was how his heart was like his left sock which was like a tree branch that was crapped on by a bird.

The resident pervert of Las Noches was down in Szayel's lab, begging the Octavo to suck him off or make him a puppy of both. The Octavo, however, was in the middle of an experiment, and after constant badgering, finally said, "Nnoitra, save your breathe for your inflatable date." This only earned him the rapist grin and a "What if I don't wanna?" Szayel sighed, and raised his scalpel warningly. "Then I'll perform an autopsy on you. While you're alive." He said. "Listen to him bro. He's serious." Ylfordt said from where he sat in his corner reading a magazine, and he popped his gum annoyingly loud like a cow every 2 seconds.

Grimmjow was in his room adding to his list of insults and curse words. So far, the newest ones he had acquired were from Vennession, who happened to use the British curses, which left the Sexta with a most interesting set of new additions. Some were mixed with the normal slang words. This meant that he was left with some colorful new language, among them, 'bloody-fucking' (from where he had tried to say that normal people used fucking, instead of bloody, but she'd put them together.), 'arse-over-tit', 'cheesed off', and 'bag of douche' (Courtesy of Haruhi constantly refering to Ichigo as that.) So all in all, he was practicing his new potty mouth for the next Espada meeting.

Zommari was sitting in his room, burning incense, and meditating. He was listening to the Beatles, peaceful music, to get him into the 'love peace and chicken grease' mood. Just then, Wonderweiss walked in, still sans pants. Without caring that the young Arrancar was without pants, he said, "Come on, take a seat and say it with me. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" Wonderweiss just looked at him like he was high. Knowing the Seventh, he probably was. So Wonderweiss just sat there and stared at the meditating guy.

The Novena was playing with his weather machine, and arguing with himself. Having two heads really wasn't conductive to anything. The upper head wanted rain, and the bottom wanted sunshine. This left the weather in Hueco Mundo changing. Every two bloody-fucking minutes! Rainy sunny rainy sunny rainy sunny. Never ended. This was the price to pay when this guy had two heads, two personalities, and only one person.

The Decima was currently in the kitchen, stinking it up, and scenting it with Eau de Armpit, while eating a shitload of food which Nnoitra had cooked only the night before. The house elves were scurrying around trying to avoid tripping over the food everywhere, or collapsing from the horrid scent of foot down at their rather short level. It was rather stink, might I add. Dobby was running around, bony fingers covering his tiny nose, and muttering, "Aizen-sama would not like foot-scented kitchen. Dobby not wanting to smell like feet!"

Finally, Lilynette wandered into Haruhi and Vennession. "I'm _bored!_ Stark won't wake up and I have nothing to do!" she said, flopping down into a chair. "I wanna see yaoi!" Haruhi shouted randomly. "Guys..." Vennession said. "Yeah. Some steamin hot yaoi! With Grimmjow and Ulquiorra." Haruhi continued on. "Guys!" Vennession yelled. "What?" Haruhi and Lilynette asked, aggravated. "I have the perfect plan to alleviate boredom!" Vennession squeed happily. "Yaoi?" The mini-Aizen asked. "Nope. But it's still bloody good. Follow me." her sister said, before walking out of the room. The remaining two did so, exchanging confused looks.

Back in Szayels lab, music started pouring over the speakers. It was Love Rhymes With Fuck You by Jeffree Star, another pink haired man who was often mistaken for a woman. "Fuck yeah!" Szayel and Ylfordt shouted at the same time, and started to dance. They looked rather ridiculous, but they didn't give a fuck. Nnoitra stood there staring with a WTF expression on his face. Then, the song became more raunchy. Szayel started dancing like a whore. Nnoitra ran out of there, screaming in a high pitched voice and flailing his arms. The brothers paused and looked at each other, before shrugging. Then, the song became even more explicit. Szayel was now stripping and attempting to rub himself up on his brother. The of course, creeped Ylfordt out. He did the same as Nnoitra did less than a minute before.

In the throne room, Nnoitra crashed through the wall. "Not again Nnoitra!" Aizen yelled from where he sat. Byakuya looked up with a pissed off expression. After all, he was interrupted from his reading yet again. "What is it?" Aizen asked, but all Nnoitra did was flap his arms and mutter incoherent, fragments of words. Ylfordt crashed through a moment later and did the same thing. "What the hell is going on here?" Aizen yelled. "Szayel! Dancing like a hoe!" Ylfordt yelled, beforeboth he and nnoitra collapsed.

Back in Gin's control room, the three girls were falling over themselves, laughing so hard that they were holding their sides, and hardly able to catch thier breath. "I... Didn't think t-that Szayel would do that!" Lilynette gasped out, giggling. "Me either!" Vennession said. She was trying to hold back a nosebleed while she was cracking up. Next to her, Haruhi was doing the same, "Not Yaoi, but good!" she said. "And best of all, it's videotaped! Which means we can show it at the Espada meeting!" Lilynette said, laughing like a maniac. Ah, this would be fun.


	3. Rapper Tosen: Fail

**I still own nothing but the plot line. I do not mean this to offend anyone. It's only a parody. **

"Aizen-sama, I would like permission to go to the living world to spread Justice." Tosen said as he entered the throne room. From his large stone chair, Aizen looked up, and asked, "Are you taking Wonderweiss with you as well?"

"Yes, Aizen-sama. It would be lacking in Justice to leave him behind."

"And how exactly are you planning to get the message across to the humans?"

"Since most American youths listen to rap and hip-hop, I am planning to go undercover, as a rapper, to spread the message of Justice."

"Very well Tosen, you may leave tomorrow morning."

With that, the resident Justice promoter of Las Noches left the throne room with a bow, heading back to his own room, with Wonderweiss in tow. On the way there, however, he encountered Grimmjow. "Grimmjow." Tosen said, keeping his distaste in check. It would be lacking in Justice for him to try cutting off the Sexta's arm...again.

"Sooo... Tosen! I heard Aizen's lettin' ya go to the real world to promote justice as a rapper, ey?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm gonna help you with it!"

Tosen stopped mid-step, mouth opening wide, in a manner most lacking in Justice. "What?"

"That's right", Grimmjow said, shit-eating grin widening, "I'm going to help you become a fairly normal rapper overnight. Step one, ya gotta cuss a lot. As in, every 5 seconds."

If Tosen's eyes would have been visible, he would have been giving the Sexta some seriously disapproving looks. "Step two, ya gotta refer to everyone as 'ma nigga'."

"Just why am I supposed to curse and refer to everyone as niggers?"

Grimmjow only shrugged, before saying, "I dunno, helps ya connect to kids these days I guess."

"And how will that help me promote Justice?"

"If ya connect to them, they're more willing to listen to what ya have to say. Scientifically prove. Step three, ya gotta wear a baseball cap, with the bill backwards."

"The what?"

"The bill. It's this part that sticks off the front of the hat."

"Why do I have to wear it backwards?"

"Cause they put stuff on the front of the hat, right above the bill, so with the hat backwards, people can see what it says. Don't worry, me and Nnoi'll hook ya up with some Justice stuff. Step four, wear such baggy pants so low it looks like you might trip over it."

Seeing no more protests from the Justice guy, Grimmjow continued. "Step five, wear as much large, tacky jewelery as you can."

"Tackiness is lacking in JUSTICE!" Tosen yelled, raising his arm high. "What did I say about the way rappers are supposed to talk?"

Tosen's arm faltered in the air for a moment, and it looked like he was about to put it back down, before he yelled, "Tackiness if lacking in JUSTICE mah nigguh!" Grimmjow grinned, before saying, "Better. Step six, when ya sing, ya gotta practically put your mouth on the microphone. Otherwise, it won't work."

The next day, Tosen was dressed in his rapper's outfit, waiting for the gargantua to open up to take him to the real world. All of the Espada, with their fraccion, were there to see him off, as well as Aizen and Gin. Wonderweiss stood by his side, a strange grin on his face. "Good luck promotin' Justice!" Gin yelled, waving his arm at Tosen, before remembering he couldn't see."

The gargantua opened, and Tosen walked through it, followed shortly by Wonderweiss. Behind him, all of the gathered Las Noches personnel tried not to pee themselves laughing as they saw Tosen's jacket. Grimmjow wasn't kidding when he said that he and Nnoitra could hook the Justice up.

On the back, in electric blue, it said, Shit Kicking Asshole. His hat was no better, with Ima Nigger in bright yellow. Then, to add to the horrid beginnings of Tosen, he tripped over his too big pants, landing face first as he fell through the portal. Wonderweiss followed him, clapping and giggling.

"Seriously? Shit Kicking Asshole?" Szayel asked, prodding his glasses further up his nose. Grimmjow nodded with a grin. "Eh, ya got it pretty well, but what's up with the "Ima Nigger? I mean, who wouldn't be able to tell?" Nnoitra raised his hand sarcastically.

In the real world, Tosen had somehow managed to score a gig somewhere, on a stage. Getting onto the stage, he nearly tripped over the many cables snaking their way around the ground. Muttering about the lack of justice, he walked up to the microphone and with his lips an inch away from the black metal covering, he said, "Yo yo yo ma nigguhs! I'm K. Tosen here ta tell ya 'bout the Justice! Hit it, Weiss!"

Wonderweiss, who stood by the turntables, thought that instead of starting the music, hit it meant to take out a frying pan and hit the machine. "No! I mean play the music, 'Weiss ma nigguh!"

"Ohhhh..." Wonderweiss drawled, before dropping the frying pan and starting the records going.

"Yo yo yo ma nigguhs! I'm K. Tosen here ta tell ya 'bout Justice. Ya see, Justice is this 'mazin' thing ma nigguhs, cuz it lets ma nigguh Aizen-sama to take over the world, one nigguh at a time, in the name of Justice!" was as far as Tosen got before he was pelted with all sorts of rotten food stuffs and a rather scary pair of undies and a strange pair of socks. "Lack of Justice!" Tosen yelled, running backstage, tripping over his pants. However, before he was able to, the crowd was left holding their sides at the rudeness that Nnoitra and Grimmjow had placed on his clothing.

Back in Hueco Mundo, Aizen stood in front of the Espada and many of the Arrancar, a disapproving glare on his face. "I didn't appreciate the fact that you decided to throw things at Tosen. Grimmjow and Nnoitra, I even less appreciate the fact that you decided that obscenities on the back of his attire, especially when he cannot see it, was appropriate. The fact that you decided to tell him how to be a rapper, even though extremely exaggerated, and rude, uncalled for, and in general, horrible, was by and far misguided. Ylfordt, your undies are just disturbing."

"Very!" Haruhi added from her place in the corner where she was drawing. "And who the hell threw those socks?" Aizen asked, flabbergasted. The room went quiet for a moment. "I mean, honestly people, those things were scarier than Ylfordt's undies! And we all know how scary that is!"

"They were my socks. And then one morning I accidentally forgot them on the bus. They stayed a very lonely pair of socks on the dashboard for the next 3 weeks. My shoes turned out very stink because I didn't have a pair of socks to wear that day, which really stinks, cause it was way too hot outside to even consider forgoing socks. Plus the A/C was broken and I couldn't take my shoes off. Which sucks." Venn said.

"Ehhh... What does that have to do with a pair of scarier-than-Ylfordt's-undies socks being thrown at Tosen?" Aizen asked, scratching his head absent- mindedly.

"Cause they were my socks, so I told you how they got to be that scary. The worst part, was that I wore them before I threw them at Tosen."

"Why did it have to be that pair of socks?"

"Because I just got them back this past Friday morning and the gig was that night, so I didn't have anything else to throw at him."

Aizen face-palmed.

"Why didn't you throw your knitting needles at him or something?" Nnoitra asked.

"Shaddap before I tell ya where ta go stick them!"

**Yeah, the socks thing was real, though I didn't throw them at anyone, or go to any gigs that night. About 3 weeks ago, I was running late, and didn't want to miss my bus, so I grabbed a pair of socks to put on in the bus. Was then distracted by my friend sitting next to me and talking all the way to school. Got off the bus, and didn't think anything of it, until I was at one class where the A/C was broken and wanted to take off my shoes, but realized I couldn't because I wasn't wearing any socks and the teacher might yell at me for stinking her classroom up (more). Then this Friday that just went past, as I was getting off the bus in the morning, I realized that my socks were sitting on the dashboard, rolled up into a ball, and looking very lonely. I wonder how many time's I'd passed them before I even noticed. . I fail worse than Tosen trying to rap...**


	4. Nnoitra Clean's His Spoon Hood

**All I own is the plot. I wonder, what exactly does Nnoi keep in his Spoon Hood? AU, high-school Nnoi :P**

Nnoitra walked into his room, cursing. "Nnoi? What's wrong?" Harribel called from the kitchen. "Nothin, ma! Just need to organize this fuckin' Spoon Hood a mine. Can't find shit in it!" Harribel sighed as she heard her eldest son's potty mouth. It was almost as bad as his younger brother's foul language.

It was true though. Nnoi had been unable to find anything in his Spoon Hood. So far, he'd been yelled at by his teachers a grand total of nearly 20 times this week for not having what he needed when he needed it. And to top it off, it was only Wednesday. So without further ado, he pulled his Spoon Hood off the top of his jacket, leaving him with just the high collar. Not that he needed to be all that much taller. **Damn bastard is already 2 feet taller than I am, sans Hood! **

Taking a deep breath, he dumped it out onto the floor of his bedroom, and was promptly buried in trash halfway up his knees. "Pinga!" Was the first word out of his mouth. "You stupid whore! Disgusting stubborn arse cow!"

"What's gotten into you Nnoitra? Seriou- Woah!" Nel yelped as she walked into the Spoon's room, and saw the pile of garbage on the floor. "All of that in your Spoon Hood?"

"Yep." Nnoi said, with a sad sigh. "Can't even find my fuckin' porn."

"Then use a normal backpack like the rest of us."

"Don't wanna. Spoon Hood's so much sexier."

"Really? I don't see any girls hanging all over you."

"Shut the fuck up and gimme a fuckin' garbage can."

"Not unless you say please."

"Fine. Please shut the fuck up and gimme a fuckin' garbage can."

Nel sighed. It wasn't the best, but it was probably the best that she was going to get out of her brother. For now. _Should really sign him up for etiquette classes. Or at least get him a book on the subject. Anything that would prevent him from bringing porn to school and including at least one curse or offensive word per sentence._

"Are ya gonna stand around watching me buried under this pile o shit, or are ya gonna get me ma fuckin' garbage can?" With a sigh, Nel grabbed up the nearest trash can, and brought it over to him. "Whadda fuck did ya fuckin' want in the first fuckin' place?"

"Grandpa can't find his dentures. I was wondering if you had seen them."

Down the hallway, Baraggan could be heard yelling, "Dagnabit! I'm old! I need my doggone dentures! I'm old!"

With a sigh, Nel turned to leave, only to be called back by Nnoitra yelling, "Where tha fuck ya think yer goin? I'm still fuckin' buried here!"

"To go get a bucket to put the things that don't belong to you in, and some folders. Back in a jiffy!"

The mantis was left to stew for a full 10 minutes. When Nel had returned, she was holding the biggest bucket the mantis had ever seen, and was carrying an armful of folders. "Are ya fuckin' serious?" _Yep, etiquette books were a must-have for Nnoi. Or the swear jar. Szayel may want to help with that, since he's saving up for that chemistry set._

"Yes. Now start with the top of the stack and work your way down."

Several hours later, they were finally done. The casualties amounted to...

3 bags of trash

8 folders of school and other important papers

4 packs worth of pens and pencils

1 binder full of clean paper

3 cans of Axe

2 headphones

1 spare eye patch

10 pairs of clean socks

5 pairs stink socks

2 pars undies

1 Ylfordt's undies

too many used tissues

2 boxes clean tissues

1 pack playing cards

1 planner

5 overdue library books

10 hi-lighters and sharpies

3 sharpeners

4 old sandwiches

7 packs of gum

3 notebooks

1 thermos

2 whiteout pens

15 hair ties (Stolen from Nel)

8 protein bars (stolen from Grimmjow)

too many hair clips (also stolen from Nel)

2 umbrellas

1 set Baraggan's dentures

1 Aizen's bitch curl

12 bottles of water

9 dollars in change

5 dollars in bills

2 sweaters

1 beaten up calculator

3 bottles perfume (Also Nel's)

2 tubes lotion (yet again Nel's )

4 bottles hand sanitzer

9 packs of lead refills

way too many erasers to count

2 brushes ( Nel's)

Mirror (Nel's)

Chapstick (Nel's)

3 tubes ointment

2 boxes bandaids

2gluestics

1 box pads (WTF)

6 rolls tape

1 miserable, lonely looking condom

2 year's worth of porn

12 CD's

30 assorted batteries

3 sporks

2 serving spoons

7 forks

1 tub of extra hold hair gel

2 large pillows

1 bra (either Nel's or Harribel's... we're not sure . )

1 record of the Trash song

5 boxes incense sticks

1 eyedropper

2 beakers

1 graduated cylinder

2 boxes leftover spicy chicken wings

1 How to shower for dummies

1 wilting pineapple with a face

1 white silk scarf

3 cans spray paint in vibrant colors

2 lonely socks

1 box dryer sheets

1 bottle laundry detergent

3 sketchbooks

1 bitchy Haruhi

15 balls of yarn

2 knitting needles

3 thongs

8 TV guides

2 pin cushions

1 pack sewing needles

4 spools thread

1 Shit Kicking Asshole jacket

1 IMA NIGGA hat

4 medical kits

2 tea pots

1 box teabags

5 tea cups

2 plastic flamencos

3 very angry plastic lawn gnomes

1 birdbath

1lawnmower

2 toilets

3 porta potties

1 unamused Snape

20 pounds sugar

5 Death Notes

10 books shitty pickup lines

1 irate Vennession

1 sugar-deprived Count D

1 backseat

3 old film reels

1 projector

3 mismatched shoes

1 pair stilettos

2 dictionaries

1 thesaurus

2 computer monitors

1 kitchen sink

1 pissed off Byakuya

1 sick Ukitake

1hyper Renji

1 flirtatious Grell

1 horny Grimmjow

2 crates of lawn sod

1 loyal Tesla

2 ugly dresses

1 papier mache mask

"Damnit, Nnoi, just how much stuff do you have in your bag?" Nel asked. The sheer messiness of his bag had provoked her into cursing. _How is it possible for one teenage boy to carry around so much trash all the time and not care? I mean, how is it even possible to fit everything into that hood? That's just insane! I think the author ran out of things to write at the end, so she just threw in whatever came to mind, but still... that's way too much stuff. _

"We ain't even fuckin' close to finished. Do me a favor and go give the ol' bastard an Ylfordt back their shit. An' don't even fuckin' think of complanin, cause you're the bitch who wanted to start this shit."

With a sigh, Nel gathered up the items that needed to be returned to various people in the bucket, including her own things. "If I didn't insist upon it, everyone in this house would be lacking things. So don't even go there. And don't think of just tossing whatevers left over back into your hood. We need to start fresh on that."

"Fine, but Tesla, D and Grell go back in there, as well as my porn and Venn."

"I can understand your porn, because you're a pervert, Tesla because he's loyal to the death, but why Grell and Venn?"

"Grell is always flirting, as is D, so you can't have one without the other. Gotta keep ma hoes close at hand and entertained, even with each other." Nnoitra said, with a rather pimpin' spoony nod.

"And Venn?"

"Writes ma fuckin porn."

"You honestly read written porn?"

"Fuck Yes."

"Nnoitra, you're more of a pervert than I give you credit for."

"Why thank you."


	5. Tosen Can't Speak Spanish

**Once again, I own absolutely nothing. AU of when Gin, Aizen, and Tosen show up in Hueco Mundo. This was the brainchild of me and my best friend during a Spanish class. Cause ever realized how everything in Hueco Mundo is all Spanish named and themed? And before you ask, I do NOT mean this to be offensive to Spanish speakers, I respect the language. I just don't respect Tosen. And if you don't know Spanish, please don't try to run anything that Tosen says through a translator, because most of these words are random words, used in the wrong tense, in the wrong place, or just plain made up... Otherwise, if you speak Spanish, feel free to correct me on anything that Aizen and Gin say. Got it? Kay!**

"Good morning, Lord Aizen! I have a new plan for spreading JUSTICE! The speech reads as such: Hello, civilian. My name is Kaname Tosen. I am here today to speak to you about Justice and the Path of Least Bloodshed." Tosen said,as he walked into the throne room. Aizen and Gin were both there, and cringed when Tosen said the J word.

"Tosen, tu necesita hablar en Espanol. Nosotros es en Hueco Mundo, no de Sereitei." Aizen said, before Gin added in, "Si, Tosen, Senor Aizen es exacta. Tu serio necesita hablar en Espanol."

Tosen nodded, before he walked out of the throne room, and down one of the numerous hallways of Hueco Mundo. And who should he run into but a marauding Grimmjow and Ylfordt? The duet were out prowling in search of causing some sort of disturbance, and who should they chance upon, but a certain Justice loving bastard of the nth degree?

"Oye! Maricon!" Grimmjow yelled at Tosen. However, Tosen simply asked, "You speak Spanish?"

"Uh yeah. Puta esupida." Grimmjow replied.

"Well then help me translate this speech to give to Aizen." Tosen said, waving a rather large stack of papers at Ylfordt and Grimmjow. They cringed for a moment, before they looked at each other and grinned widely.

Several hours later Tosen walked back into the throne room, a grin plastered onto his face. Without waiting for the other two men in the room to acknowledge him, he began spouting, in a horrid Spanglish accent, "Hola, Gin tu maricon, y Senorita Aizen! Soy nombre es Tosen, y soy es una negro fayo y estupida. Yo tengo una culo grande, y mi es muy perezoso y una idiota. Soy es estas para la promocion de Justicia."

Needless to say, Tosen was promptly laughed out of the throne room by Aizen and Gin.


	6. Wrong Book! Wrong Book!

**I own absolutely nothing. This happened one day in Spanish class... Thought it would make for a wonderful fic... Children Espada AU.**

"Now ya'll know tha' Aizen-sama wants ya ta be able ta speak Spanish. So who's gonna volunteer ta go write the answers from tha' textbook on the board?" Gin asked at his class of various Espada and Arrancar. Nel raised her hand, after a moment. Gin nodded to her, and she walked up to the board. One problem. She was carrying the workbook.

Just then, Aizen who was walking down the hallway of Hueco Mundo, decided to pop his head in. "Hola, Gin, como estas?" He asked. Gin replied with a smile, "Bien, y usted?"

Aizen replied in kind with a smile, and said, "Tambien, gracias." He gave the class a deeply appraising look. "What do we say ta Aizen-sama, class?"

Just then, Nnoitra realized that Nel has the wrong book. So of course he blurted, "Wrong book! Wrong book!"

Gin stared at him with a look of shock.

Grimmjow continued with, "Yeah, wrong book!"

Ylfordt, the last asswipe to catch on, yelled out, "Yeah, man! Wrong flippin' book!"

Gin's mouth gaped wide open, out of it's customary smile. Aizen only chuckled, before he said, "Lovely class, Gin." And left the room.

The moment the brunette was out of the room, Gin facepalmed, and said, "Wha' in the heck am I gonna do wit' ya guys? Tha' guy who just came in was Aizen-sama, fer cryin' out loud!"


	7. Rapper Tosen: Still Can't Rap

**Once again, I own absolutely nothing. **

Gin and Aizen were in the throne room minding their own Aizen-damned business when the door flew open with a bang, and Tosen stumbled in, nearly tripping over his oversized pants, Wonderweiss hot on his tail. Taking another step into the room,he nearly falls flat on his face, but manages to catch himself, muttering under his breath, "Lack of Justice!"

Glancing at the blind man in the room, as much as one can glance with shut eyes, Gin whined, "Aizen-sama! 'is tackiness is burnin' ma eyes!"

To this, Aizen only could reply with a cringe and pointing out the obvious, by saying, "Gin, your eyes are closed. However, I sympathize."

Then, the blind abomination opened his mouth and to the complete chagrin of the two former captains, out spews a most cringe-worthy rap song, brought about by the fugly Justice promoter himself.

"Yo yo yo mah nigguhs!  
>I'll tell ya something hea'<br>So tell ya hoes ta listen tha fuck up too  
>And learn bout the fuckin' message o' Justice, bitch!"<p>

"Tosen.." Aizen said warningly, but is ignored, and further interrupted by Tosen's continuation.

"What, fool?  
>yeah, you fuckin' heard me right, bitch!<br>The message of Justice!"

Gin runs out of the room with his hands clapped firmly over his ears, screaming at the top of his lungs. Aizen was no better, as he exclaimed loudly, "For the love of Aizen, a.k.a. me, **STOP**!"

Tosen stopped, but only out of confusion. He turned to Wonderweiss, and asked, "Wonderweiss, do you think that Lord Aizen would be more receptive to the message of Justice if we took it to the next level and got some back-up dancers?"

Wonderweiss nodded his head once, making a strangle gurgling noise.

"Who do you suggest would be good for this important duty of promoting the Justice?"

Another gurgling noise.

"Ylfordt?"

Gurgle.

"Are you sure?"

Another nod.

"Then we shall recruit Ylfordt to help with the promotion of Justice! To the Justice room! In the name of Justice!" Tosen yelled, striking a dramatic pose.

In the surveillance room, Nnoitra paused, his mouth full of popcorn, and turned to Tesla, who was sitting on a cushion on the floor next to him like an obedient dog, and asked, "D'ya think tha fuckin' nigga is gonna learn anythin' one a these days, Tes?" Tesla looked up at the overblown spoon, and replied, "I have no idea, Nnoitra-sama. But I hope for your sanity, and for the sanity of Lords Gin and Aizen, as well as all the other poor souls in this place, that he stops."


	8. Octopus Flavored Tea

**I own absolutely nothing. **

"You fuckin' serious about this?" Ylfordt asked, puffing as he helped Grimmjow haul the bucket down the hallway.

"Of course! I mean, we gotta do this shit!" Grimmjow snarled, eyes narrowing as they approached their destination.

"But Aizen might piss himself!"

"So?"

"The fucking bastard might piss tea!" Ylfordt wailed, nearly dropping the bucket on his foot.

The Sexta shuddered as the horrible thought crossed the forefront of his mind. "Damn you Ylfordt! That thought just mentally scarred me for life worse than the thought of your brother performing a strip tease. **( Cause we all know that Szayel would be the one to do something like that :P)**

Now, it was Ylfordt's turn to turn greener than a piece of broccoli.

Finally, they ended up in the kitchen. In the center was a huge vat, like the ones used to store coffee during conferences. However, Aizen used it to store his tea. It was the target of the duo's prank. "Hurry it up." Grimmjow said, glancing around guiltily while the blonde removed the top of the vat. "Geeze, I'm goin', I'm goin'."

"Finally!"

Together, they poured the contents of the bucket into the vat, before replacing the lid and hi-fiving each other. Then, voices came from down the hallway.

They exchanged a look.

Grimmjow was the first to break the silence with "Oh shit."

"Holy Andy, we've been caught!"

_Andy Sixx let out a loud sneeze in the middle of his sentence. "Aizen damn it..." he muttered._

_Aizen sneezed right into his tea. "Andy dammit!"_

Grimmjow pelted down the hallway, going the opposite way from the voices as fast as his sonido would carry him. Ylfordt threw the now empty bucket down the hallway, before following the Espada.

The bucket knocked over a group of Exequias, as if they were bowling pins. They fell in a huge, disorganized heap cursing like drunkard sailors.

"Andy fuck it!"

_"Not again!" Andy yelled after he managed to sneeze all over Ashley. Poor Ashley looked like he was about to have a pepileptic fit._

**About an hour later in the Espada's meeting...**

"And now, before we start this meeting, let's have some tea, my little Espada!" Aizen said, raising a tea-cup. Everyone groaned, besides Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Starrk. Ulquiorra because he never showed any emotion, and lived to please Aizen, Starrk because he was dead asleep as usual, and Grimmjow because he knew what was going to happen.

Aizen opened the spigot, in an attempt to fill the cup with his precious tea, but nothing happened. A perplexed look crossed his face. Trying to determine the cause of the lack of tea, he opened the top. A look of shock and surprise took the place of confusion on his features.

In the end, it was harder to tell who was more frightened, Aizen or the octopus in the vat of tea.


	9. Tosen's Hair

Tosen was having a horrible day. Everywhere that he went in Sereitei, he was getting snickers and laughs directed at him. One Shinigami, who he didn't even know, came up to him and asked if he was trying to be Yachiru. When he asked why the man said that, whoever he was, he laughed, and said, Go look in a mirror, you'll figure it out. Oh, wait, nevermind, you're BLIND! Ha ha ha ha!

In Hueco Mundo, things weren't that different. All the Arrancar and Espada were laughing at him like crazy, and the one eyed bastard Nnoitra had the balls to ask if he was thinking of being a black Szayel for Halloween, before Grimmjow said that Halloween was still several months away.

Poor Tosen didn't know what Yachiru and Szayel had in common, and had no fucking idea what Halloween was, only that it was a holiday on the 31st of October, where children asked strangers for candy. He didn't know whether to classify the day as Justice or lack of Justice. Yes, in Tosen's mind, there was only those 2 classifications. Anything outside of that was unthinkable.

Even in the typical annoying Espada meeting that Tosen was forced to attend, along with Gin, Aizen had asked him why the sudden change in appearances. Tosen had asked him what he was talking about, but the brunette let out a slight giggle, and refused to say anything else on the matter.

Finally, after several days of this, Tosen could stand it no more. Into Ressurrecion mode he went, and found the nearest mirror. Sure, he was hideous in this form, but what was even more hideous was the color his hair was. It had somehow turned bright pink. LACK OF JUSTICE!

Upon hearing the screaming, Gin smiled wider. Maybe putting pink hair dye in Tosen's shampoo was more fun than he would've thought it could be. 


	10. Orihime's Cooking

The residents of Hueco Mundo had recently discovered human food, and needless to say, they were sick and tired of the plain food they had around the same time that they were holding Orihime there. So to occupy her time, and hopefully get some good food out of it, since she was always talking about food, they puter her in the kitchen. Aizen was beginning to think it was a bad idea when he saw her grocery list. Laxatives, drain cleaner, and red bean paste were the first 3 items.

Against his better judgement, he sent Ulquiorra to collect the items from the human world. When he looked at the list, he merely said, Lord Aizen, most of the things on this list do not seem neither fit nor safe for consumption. I should like to hope that not everything on this list is going into whatever the woman is cooking.

but he went anyways. An hour later, he delivered the contents of the list to Orihime. She was overjoyed.

That night, Aizen remarked that the food was strong, but still edible. He breathed in relief. Apparently the more questionable items hadn't made it into the dinner. 3 hours later, Aizen had his ass glued firmly to the porcelain throne. His bitch curl was in a litter box nearby.

The next morning, the Espada meeting was canceled, because everyone was too busy shitting.

In her cell, Orihime grinned. That should teach these hollows to make her leave behind her beloved Ichigo and red bean paste in the human world! 


	11. TP

"Lord Aizen, what is this?" Ulquiorra asked, gesturing at the thing sitting on the table in front of him.

"Ulquiorra, that is something from the human world called toilet paper."

"Toilet paper." The fourth said, picking it up and turning it to and fro.

"It tastes good!" Yammy called, chomping down on the roll.

Aaronier, in his Kaien Shiba form, looked at it before ripping off a square and putting it in his mouth. "Could use salt." He said with a shrug.

Starrk, predictable enough, had nodded off, ignoring the roll in front of him until jabbed in the ribs by Grimmjow. "Makes a shitty pillow." He muttered, before dozing off again, managing to knock it off the table with his elbow.

"I have no use for newfangled things like this!" Baraggan yelled, forgetting he was the only deaf one present, throwing it over his shoulder in disgust. It covered a nearby chair in it's papery whiteness.

"Old fart's still wipin' his ass with leaves." Nnoitra hissed, not so quietly. Grimmjow snorted.

"I have no use of toilet-paper, as I have my armor!" Zommari yelled, throwing the innocent white roll into a random corner of the room.

"This might interest my fraccion." Harribel said indifferently, while Szayel said in an over-enthusiastic manner, "I must dissect it!"

Aizen sighed, before saying, "Nnoitra? Grimmjow? Any comments?"

The pair, now sporting even wider shit-eating grins than usual, had been surprisingly quiet, not even a laugh. They exchanged looks, before Nnoitra said, "Well..."

"Yanno, Aizen..." Grimmjow continued.

"This shit just might be..." Nnoitra added.

"Useful!" Grimmjow finished.

"I third that!" Szayel yelled, still peering at the poor bog roll in a manner that might have made it seek a restraining order.

"Fantastic!" Aizen said, clapping his hands, before adding, "Gin, go put in an order for a million rolls of toilet paper!"

"O' course, Aizen-sama!" Gin said, smirking. He was having the same thoughts as the 5th and the 6th, not that he'd say it.

"Justice!" Tosen yelled.

2 weeks later

Las Noches had been Tp'd thoroughly, including some helpless Arrancar, like Tesla ("Nnoitra-sama? Why are you wrapping me up in this?") and that idiot Ylfordt.

Aizen yanked his hair out by the handful, and Nnoitra, Grimmjow, and Gin wore equally large grins that threatened to spill into laughter at any given moment.


	12. I'm Sexy and I Know It!

Things always took several years to reach Hueco Mundo. As such, it was only now that things that had been popular several years prior, such as Myspace, scene and emo fashion, and the LG Rumor were reaching the area. 


	13. Szayel's Shirt Issue

**Just a little speck of a fic, happens during Szayel's battle with Renji and Ishida. Assume he didn't die at the end, however.**

During the fight, Szayel's shirt was ripped, exposing a decent amount of his chest. Embarrassed, he left to go change. However, one of Gin's secret cameras picked up on this image.

By the next morning, Gin had posted the picture to every possible social networking site he knew about, with as many (un)related words as possible. As such, by noon, the image had gone viral and was one of the top ten trending searches on most search engines. By now, the entire world knew just what Szayel looked like without his shirt.

That night, as Szayel lay in the recovery wing of Las Noches, he had one of his fracciones bring him his netbook. As he loaded the internet, he let out a squeal of distaste as he saw that he was popular for the whole shirt incident. As he continued to browse the web, and saw pictures of himself everywhere, he let out a scream of agony that the entire hollow world, as well as several in both the human and soul world heard.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY REPUTATION IS RUINED! GIN!"

"Eh, it's not like your reputation was that good anyways!" Gin chuckled from his secret control room.


	14. Movie Night

"What the hell possessed you to pick this movie?" Grimmjow bellowed at Aizen in fury.

It was the weekly Espada movie night.

"I thought it was going to show me a kindred soul! A godly one!" Aizen replied in his very weak defense.

The Espada and former captains had assumed that everything was going to go the way it always did, Tosen protesting or supporting Justice, Harribel glaring at anything vaguely misogynist, Nnoitra staring at whatever nudity there was and making cracks about it, Grimmjow cursing like a drunken sailor on leave, Starrk sleeping in a chair, Szayel muttering about inferior technology, and Baraggan muttering about the decay of society.

"I thought it was going to be somethingI could relate to!" Szayel snapped, prodding his glasses further up his nose.

"Like appreciate tits as much as, fuck it, more than the next guy, but damn! This shit's just freaky!" Nnoitra spat, barely concealing his discomfort.

Courtesy of the internet, however, everything went drastically wrong.

"Young people these days! No idea what's gotten into them!" Baraggan groused from his corner.

"I concede. This is a beaming example of a lack of Justice!" Tosen agreed.

"If this is how humans treat one another, then I'm not certain that they are capable of preventing their own demise." Ulquiorra said in his ever-monotone voice.

The movie was originally supposed to be "A Series of Unfortunate Events".

Starrk, awake for once, looked sick to the stomach.

At the last moment, however, Aizen had been preusing the interwebs, when he came across a shining review for the movie they were currently viewing.

Zommari gave a shudder at seeing the latest image on the screen. "It would appear that I will need armor for my mind as well!"

"Stop!" "This is wrong!" "Very, very wrong!" Aaroniero's dual heads bellowed from their tank.

"I don't think I ever wanna eat nothin' again!" Yammy whined , hiding his eyes.

"Tha's why I keep mah eyes shut!" Gin said, with a widening of his grin.

"Well you're not the assbag that insisted on watching the fuckin' human centipede!" Grimmjow yelled, jumping off the couch and spewing popcorn everywhere.

"Sometimes, Grimmjow, you will find that sacrifices are needed." Harribel said in an ominous tone.

It was unsurprising that sleep had an issue paying the Espada a visit that night.


End file.
